queencrash:

ritornerai:

What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS

"Great job, you missed the exit you fucking disgrace."

(Source: shingekinowinchester, via twerkmanor)

  • kid: dad whats a 69
  • dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]

relahvant:

*eats 1 carrot*

*checks to see how much weight I’ve lost*

(via clifford-grier-x)

churchsext:

i hate when people say wikipedia isn’t reliable because anyone can change it like are u kidding me have u ever tried to edit a wikipedia article they instantly ban u for like removing a comma

(via orgasm)